"I need to know that things are going to look up..."
I have been avoiding writing this post. Mostly because I have been having a difficult time sorting out my feelings. My time here has taught me that it is easy to avoid facing the truth when you cannot explain it to anybody around you because of a language barrier (thank you, language immersion(?)). The act of writing these posts, however, is quiet self-reflective for me. It demands me to look at myself and my situation as clearly as I can. I was not prepared to do that until now.
The basic story since last week is that there were rockets coming from Gaza. They started just after I wrote my last post. I was alone here in my dorm when I heard the alarm go off. I did not know where the nearest shelter was but the head of my program swiftly called me to make sure I was okay. It was unexpected. Perhaps a bit jarring. Yet, I was not scared. It happened once more that night and once more in the morning. I became very used to the routine of hearing the alarm and walking to the shelter closest to my room. Classes for Sunday were canceled. More rockets were sent. Then classes for Monday were canceled. They decided to evacuate us and all the other foreign students. We stayed in Tel Aviv for two days because of the situation. We returned on Wednesday and began classes. Some more rockets were sent once on Wednesday and once on Thursday (when I was walking back from class -- but no worries, I took shelter in a radioactive lab). Since then there have not been any. The seise fire is firmly in effect for now.
In Be'er Sheva, we got to experience the fear created by being in a truly unsure place. It was unlike anything I have ever felt before and I think that it was good life experience. Unfortunately, one girl from my program was too upset by the situation to stay here. Although I understand how she feels, I must stress that I am in no serious danger here. Most of the rockets do not hurt anybody. When people do get hurt it is because they are not in shelters. Admittedly, I do relate to her a bit on the emotional level. The word trauma sounds too strong to my ears but I am feeling something along those lines. I have been a bit jumpy and moody; however, what really worries me is how surreal everything feels right now. The whole situation seems like it happened to somebody else and somewhere else. I am hoping time will help me to feel a little better.
A lot people have asked me about my thoughts on the situation both sociologically and politically. Seeing the reactions of Israelis is really interesting on a both levels. They seem mostly unbothered by the situation. They also do not seem particularly critical of the army for committing the assassination of the terrorist that was the impetus of this current round of fighting. For me it is strange that students do not want to wait the 10 minutes in the shelter that they are supposed to. It is also hard to understand how it is okay here, in the Middle East, to simply assassinate people and not expect repercussions. Of course, I understand that they felt it was a security issue to let him alive. Except I cannot help but think that acting in a violent way that you know will cause more violence is just as dangerous. The logic of the politics and military here do not sit comfortably for me. On another topic with simular themes, I have also been having a difficult time comprehending why Israeli politicians are crying out for war with Iran. What I have been seeing and hearing here are upsetting and discouraging to me. I want peace. I want people to want to work toward peace with diplomatic measures. Sometimes it feels like that dream is completely unrealistic here. Other times, Israelis amaze me by going against the grain. Heartwarming campaigns such as, "We <3 You," give me hope for the future of this country. "We <3 You" is a viral Israeli Facebook campaign to Iranians saying that "We love you. We will never bomb you"(see more here). I also feel a bit better when I hear students talking about the rockets and discussing how it makes them feel. They do not do it very often from what I have observed and they have never discussed the politics of it in my presence, but simply talking about it is better than seeing it as an acceptable part of life here.
Because of what happend I have not had a lot of classes at this point. So, it is impressive that I am already convinced my classes will be really great. My teachers are nice and interesting. The classes are potentially going to be difficult for me but as long as they remain interesting I think it will be worth it. I have been getting frustrated. I think that is simply a byproduct of my language low-self esteem and that is what I came to Israel to fix. So far the potential to learn and grow here seems never-ending. Because I just begun my classes, I am going to hold off on the details about what I am learning for now.
Some other things that have happened since my last post:
- I met one of my roommates. She is really nice and lets me use everything in the kitchen. She also studies Psychology. We had a lengthy conversation about what I do in America and about my thoughts on Israel. It was very nice to speak one on one in a quiet place without pressure.
- I have spent a significant amount of time with Israelis. Notably, we spent Shabbat dinner with a nice family. It was really exciting to observe what a normal Friday night was like for them. It was also fun to watch Israeli television with Israelis.
- I went to a place called Engosh House to see about volunteer opportunities. It is a place that helps rehabilitate people with mental health issues. They teach life skills, do activities together, and send in-house help. The women I spoke with was very nice and said that the language barrier will not stop me from being able to lend a hand. I am still thinking on it but there is a high possibility that I will volunteer there.
- I did Zumba. It was pretty funny to do it in a Hebrew speaking environment. The depressing part is that it made me realize that I left my sneakers in Tel Aviv. The hostel did not find them. So I need to buy some new ones. Hopefully I will do that before tomorrow because I am going on a long bike trip with the Student Union here!
My reluctance to write this post was not just due to my confused feelings toward the security situation here. Despite the fact that I have met people and been doing new things every day, I have not been entirely socially comfortable or happy here. Spending time with Israelis is hard for me. I have to use all of my concentration to understand what they are saying and I have trouble responding quickly or with proper grammer. If I am in pub with Israelis, it is hard to hear. If they talk about things using vocabulary I don't know, I do not want to be annoying and ask all the time. This is not a path for those who need to know what is going on all the time. I have had some quality conversations but I have also had frustrating ones. I think it is all part of the learning experience. I just hope that with time things will get easier and that as things get easier I will be happier.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Loca People
"Viva la fiesta."
I hope all of you who celebrated Purim had a fun time! I sure did ;) For those of you that do not know the Jewish holiday Purim, it is a holiday in which people get dressed up and celebrate the story of Queen Ester and the survival of the Jewish people. It is a bit like Mardi Gras and Halloween combined...but more about that later.
My first week in Beer Sheva and my Hebrew emersion program have been better than I expected. My Hebrew is still pretty terrible but it is definitely good enough to speak with people for short periods of time. Talking to the two other girls on my program is especially easy because they are in the same boat as me and they are very patient. I am still not comfortable enough to strike up conversations in Hebrew with strangers but I think that will come in time. Generally, I am not all that frustrated. I also feel like I have already been learning more here than I was learning in Haifa. That is a really great feeling. It validates my decision to come here.
The man in charge of my program, Tomer, met us at the train station on Monday. Since then he has showed us around the city and campus, took us to dinner, helped us to set up everything we need on campus, and administered a Hebrew exam. He is very nice and extremely helpful. Here is an example: I am alone this weekend because the two other girls went to Haifa to pick up some stuff they left there last semester. This morning Tomer called me and asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping. In the car he told me about things I could do this weekend. He did not want me to be lonely or bored. Because of his prompting, I went to the Old City and the market this afternoon. It was nice to see the city alone for the first time. I am not going to go to the student Shabbat dinner that he suggested because I think I will feel uncomfortable going alone. Instead I have planed a delicious Mediterranean/Middle Eastern themed meal. I will eating roasted eggplant with tahini, quinoa with olives and feta cheese, Israeli salad, and pita with hummus. Tomorrow morning I plan on walking an hour each way to the Mezorti (Conservative) synagogue here. Hopefully, it will be worth it.
Besides basic orientation, Tomer also organized for us to go to a big student party in the Old City for Purim. Some students picked us up in front of our dorm and brought us to their apartment. They fed us, gave us drinks, and took us to the party. It was packed. The whole place was decorated in a Tanakh (the Torah, Prophets, and Writings) theme. People were dressed up and having an awesome time. I enjoyed getting to go out and dance with the girls from my program. I also think that it was important for us to have the opportunity to speak in Hebrew with young Israelis. (Although with all the noise it was not easy to understand them.) We had a lot of fun. When we left at two thirty in the morning the party was still going strong.
Yesterday, Purim day, we woke up late but still made it to the carnival in the huge shopping complex of Beer Sheva called Big. There were people pretending to be statues, acrobatics, food, and games. The best part was to see all of the costumes. All week people have been walking around wearing costumes but I think many people saved their best for the carnival. There were also festivities today that I saw in the Old City at the street fair. People here take Purim very seriously.
Based my experiences so far, I think that it is going to be really fun to live in Beer Sheva. There is a very strong student life: a lot of fun workout/dance classes to take on campus, a movie theater, and it seems like people here sit around outside being social a lot. I am also planning on volunteering for five hours a week. Tomer has a couple of options of places I could potentially volunteer that relate to my major in Psychology. We are going to meet about it soon and make some decisions.
My dorm here is pretty simular to the one I had in Haifa. The major differences are that I am in a single (instead of a double) and that my kitchen has a microwave and toaster-oven. I have been cooking more extravagant dishes now that I have more tools to use. The only downside of my living situation right now is that I haven't actually met my roommates. They are on break until Sunday and I guess they all went home. The two other girls in my program both met some of their roommates but they also have some that went home. There are three other rooms in the apartment but I am not sure if there are actually three other people living here. It is not a big deal but it is a bizarre situation. I have been using the plates, pot, and pan in the kitchen but I do not know if that is okay. I guess I will find out soon enough.
Sunday I begin my classes. I will be in class Sunday though Thursday. Every day I have Hebrew for an hour and half. On Sunday and Wednesday I also have my two other classes for an hour and a half each. It really is not that much class time, in my opinion, but I definitely do not mind. My two classes are with the two girls from my program. We are taking the History of Israeli Cinema and Media and the Anthropology and Sociology of Israel. Our courses, like everything we do here, are in Hebrew. I am very excited for my classes on Sunday and to truly begin the program!
I hope all of you who celebrated Purim had a fun time! I sure did ;) For those of you that do not know the Jewish holiday Purim, it is a holiday in which people get dressed up and celebrate the story of Queen Ester and the survival of the Jewish people. It is a bit like Mardi Gras and Halloween combined...but more about that later.
My first week in Beer Sheva and my Hebrew emersion program have been better than I expected. My Hebrew is still pretty terrible but it is definitely good enough to speak with people for short periods of time. Talking to the two other girls on my program is especially easy because they are in the same boat as me and they are very patient. I am still not comfortable enough to strike up conversations in Hebrew with strangers but I think that will come in time. Generally, I am not all that frustrated. I also feel like I have already been learning more here than I was learning in Haifa. That is a really great feeling. It validates my decision to come here.
The man in charge of my program, Tomer, met us at the train station on Monday. Since then he has showed us around the city and campus, took us to dinner, helped us to set up everything we need on campus, and administered a Hebrew exam. He is very nice and extremely helpful. Here is an example: I am alone this weekend because the two other girls went to Haifa to pick up some stuff they left there last semester. This morning Tomer called me and asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping. In the car he told me about things I could do this weekend. He did not want me to be lonely or bored. Because of his prompting, I went to the Old City and the market this afternoon. It was nice to see the city alone for the first time. I am not going to go to the student Shabbat dinner that he suggested because I think I will feel uncomfortable going alone. Instead I have planed a delicious Mediterranean/Middle Eastern themed meal. I will eating roasted eggplant with tahini, quinoa with olives and feta cheese, Israeli salad, and pita with hummus. Tomorrow morning I plan on walking an hour each way to the Mezorti (Conservative) synagogue here. Hopefully, it will be worth it.
Besides basic orientation, Tomer also organized for us to go to a big student party in the Old City for Purim. Some students picked us up in front of our dorm and brought us to their apartment. They fed us, gave us drinks, and took us to the party. It was packed. The whole place was decorated in a Tanakh (the Torah, Prophets, and Writings) theme. People were dressed up and having an awesome time. I enjoyed getting to go out and dance with the girls from my program. I also think that it was important for us to have the opportunity to speak in Hebrew with young Israelis. (Although with all the noise it was not easy to understand them.) We had a lot of fun. When we left at two thirty in the morning the party was still going strong.
Yesterday, Purim day, we woke up late but still made it to the carnival in the huge shopping complex of Beer Sheva called Big. There were people pretending to be statues, acrobatics, food, and games. The best part was to see all of the costumes. All week people have been walking around wearing costumes but I think many people saved their best for the carnival. There were also festivities today that I saw in the Old City at the street fair. People here take Purim very seriously.
Based my experiences so far, I think that it is going to be really fun to live in Beer Sheva. There is a very strong student life: a lot of fun workout/dance classes to take on campus, a movie theater, and it seems like people here sit around outside being social a lot. I am also planning on volunteering for five hours a week. Tomer has a couple of options of places I could potentially volunteer that relate to my major in Psychology. We are going to meet about it soon and make some decisions.
My dorm here is pretty simular to the one I had in Haifa. The major differences are that I am in a single (instead of a double) and that my kitchen has a microwave and toaster-oven. I have been cooking more extravagant dishes now that I have more tools to use. The only downside of my living situation right now is that I haven't actually met my roommates. They are on break until Sunday and I guess they all went home. The two other girls in my program both met some of their roommates but they also have some that went home. There are three other rooms in the apartment but I am not sure if there are actually three other people living here. It is not a big deal but it is a bizarre situation. I have been using the plates, pot, and pan in the kitchen but I do not know if that is okay. I guess I will find out soon enough.
Sunday I begin my classes. I will be in class Sunday though Thursday. Every day I have Hebrew for an hour and half. On Sunday and Wednesday I also have my two other classes for an hour and a half each. It really is not that much class time, in my opinion, but I definitely do not mind. My two classes are with the two girls from my program. We are taking the History of Israeli Cinema and Media and the Anthropology and Sociology of Israel. Our courses, like everything we do here, are in Hebrew. I am very excited for my classes on Sunday and to truly begin the program!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Sunshine Highway
"Take another ride."
Since my last post I have taken some long bus rides: five hours on a bus to Eilat from Jerusalem and another five hours on a bus from Eilat to Tel Aviv. Soon I will be taking a train to Haifa and another train from there to Beer Sheva. This week has been and will continue to be very travel intensive.
As my bus sped down the highway on Sunday night, some of the heaviness I felt at the end of last week drifted away. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I had entered a sunshine paradise. My time in Eilat is the closest I have ever come to having a tropical vacation. For most people the exotic resort area of Eilat includes sitting on the beach all day, shopping on the boardwalk, eating expensive food, and going out at night. These activities have never really held that much appeal to me but I knew that I could still have a good time in Eilat if I kept myself busy. After two full days I had literally done everything there was to do in the city (that was within my budget). I visited both the history and art museums, I walked along the North Shore all the way to the Coral Reef National Reserve (this path takes you along all the beaches in Eilat), I swam with dolphins at Dolphin Reef, I snorkeled and scuba dived in Eilat's Coral Reef, I hiked up to Mt. Tzfahot (where you can see Egypt and Jordan in a gorgeous desert view), and I wandered in part of the residential area. I was actually staying in an apartment, instead of a hostel, with a friend of one of my roommates from the University of Haifa. It was refreshing to have a private space, access to a television, and a kind hostess.
Eilat was fun but I think it would have been more fun if I took advantage of the opportunity to take day trips. From Eilat it is possible to go to Egypt, Jordan, and some interesting spots in the Negev desert. Unfortunately, it isn't particularly easy to do any of those things without going with an organized group. After evaluating the cost and my dislike for organized trips, I decided not to join a travel group. I could have taken buses to wherever I wanted to go but it would not have been very safe alone. I hope that one day I will have a more opportune chance see the Sinai, Petra, Timna National Park, and the Red Canyon. In the end, I decided to give myself one relaxing beach day instead of a day trip; however, the weather report told me that a bad storm was on its way. Taking that as a sign to leave, I headed for Tel Aviv.
My ride from Eilat to Tel Aviv was very different than my arriving journey. Sandstorms made visibility terrible and the drive seemed relatively dangerous. I made it to Tel Aviv unscathed but the bad weather has continued here. It has been raining the whole time but I have not let that stop me from doing a lot of walking around. I have visited the the major shopping areas, the few sites, and the Old City of Yaffo. I have enjoyed taking in a little bit of the culture here and people watching. My favorite observation was a mass of hipsters at the Antiques and Secondhand Fair in Dizengoff Square on Friday. I actually joined in on the fun by buying a cute sailor style shirt to wear for Purim (the Jewish holiday of debauchery coming up this week).
I have tried two museums I have not been to before since I have been in Tel Aviv, the Eretz Israel Museum and the Helena Rubinstein Pavilion of Contemporary Art. The former was a hodge-podge of history and archeology of Israel from ancient to contemporary civilization. Different buildings with exhibitions and outdoor displays were spread out in a park. I found it pleasant and informative but a little confusing as well. The contemporary art museum was nothing special but it was free. The current exhibit is about art in Berlin.
By far the highlight of my time in Tel Aviv has been socializing with people. On Thursday I had dinner with two Swedish girls and an Israeli guy that I met at a delicious vegan restaurant. We sat for almost two hours talking and eating. They were unique, nice people. I am glad I met them. Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching movies with guy in my dorm (a mixed dorm where I am the only girl) and afterward we went to dinner. Later that evening we played cards and had some beer with three other guys. It was a good time.
These past two weeks have gone by very fast. Traveling alone was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. I found it empowering to be able to control my schedule and itinerary all alone. My only regret is that I don't have more time to travel.
Next time you hear from me I will be finishing up my first week at Ben Gurion University in Beer Sheva. Wish me luck!
Since my last post I have taken some long bus rides: five hours on a bus to Eilat from Jerusalem and another five hours on a bus from Eilat to Tel Aviv. Soon I will be taking a train to Haifa and another train from there to Beer Sheva. This week has been and will continue to be very travel intensive.
As my bus sped down the highway on Sunday night, some of the heaviness I felt at the end of last week drifted away. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I had entered a sunshine paradise. My time in Eilat is the closest I have ever come to having a tropical vacation. For most people the exotic resort area of Eilat includes sitting on the beach all day, shopping on the boardwalk, eating expensive food, and going out at night. These activities have never really held that much appeal to me but I knew that I could still have a good time in Eilat if I kept myself busy. After two full days I had literally done everything there was to do in the city (that was within my budget). I visited both the history and art museums, I walked along the North Shore all the way to the Coral Reef National Reserve (this path takes you along all the beaches in Eilat), I swam with dolphins at Dolphin Reef, I snorkeled and scuba dived in Eilat's Coral Reef, I hiked up to Mt. Tzfahot (where you can see Egypt and Jordan in a gorgeous desert view), and I wandered in part of the residential area. I was actually staying in an apartment, instead of a hostel, with a friend of one of my roommates from the University of Haifa. It was refreshing to have a private space, access to a television, and a kind hostess.
Eilat was fun but I think it would have been more fun if I took advantage of the opportunity to take day trips. From Eilat it is possible to go to Egypt, Jordan, and some interesting spots in the Negev desert. Unfortunately, it isn't particularly easy to do any of those things without going with an organized group. After evaluating the cost and my dislike for organized trips, I decided not to join a travel group. I could have taken buses to wherever I wanted to go but it would not have been very safe alone. I hope that one day I will have a more opportune chance see the Sinai, Petra, Timna National Park, and the Red Canyon. In the end, I decided to give myself one relaxing beach day instead of a day trip; however, the weather report told me that a bad storm was on its way. Taking that as a sign to leave, I headed for Tel Aviv.
My ride from Eilat to Tel Aviv was very different than my arriving journey. Sandstorms made visibility terrible and the drive seemed relatively dangerous. I made it to Tel Aviv unscathed but the bad weather has continued here. It has been raining the whole time but I have not let that stop me from doing a lot of walking around. I have visited the the major shopping areas, the few sites, and the Old City of Yaffo. I have enjoyed taking in a little bit of the culture here and people watching. My favorite observation was a mass of hipsters at the Antiques and Secondhand Fair in Dizengoff Square on Friday. I actually joined in on the fun by buying a cute sailor style shirt to wear for Purim (the Jewish holiday of debauchery coming up this week).
I have tried two museums I have not been to before since I have been in Tel Aviv, the Eretz Israel Museum and the Helena Rubinstein Pavilion of Contemporary Art. The former was a hodge-podge of history and archeology of Israel from ancient to contemporary civilization. Different buildings with exhibitions and outdoor displays were spread out in a park. I found it pleasant and informative but a little confusing as well. The contemporary art museum was nothing special but it was free. The current exhibit is about art in Berlin.
By far the highlight of my time in Tel Aviv has been socializing with people. On Thursday I had dinner with two Swedish girls and an Israeli guy that I met at a delicious vegan restaurant. We sat for almost two hours talking and eating. They were unique, nice people. I am glad I met them. Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching movies with guy in my dorm (a mixed dorm where I am the only girl) and afterward we went to dinner. Later that evening we played cards and had some beer with three other guys. It was a good time.
These past two weeks have gone by very fast. Traveling alone was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. I found it empowering to be able to control my schedule and itinerary all alone. My only regret is that I don't have more time to travel.
Next time you hear from me I will be finishing up my first week at Ben Gurion University in Beer Sheva. Wish me luck!
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