Bizness

"I say, Get up, stand up, get up, stand up, get on it."

I am going to start off with the most important piece of business: Food. I can proudly say that I successfully went grocery shopping on Sunday! Three girls from Ulpan and I managed to take the bus to a mall with a supermarket. I bought a ton of food and spent way to much money for it. Although I have buyer's remorse, I am happy that I have been eating a lot healthier this week. At least now I am doing well in the food department and I know what to do for next time to be a smarter shopper here. I have also learned from my roommates how to use the kitchen and what items I should buy next time. In addition, they have shared many meals with me this week. These food related experiences are vital for my cultural immersion.

I cannot boast the same success with my goal to use more Hebrew. Homework from Ulpan has consumed most of my free time. It also, unfortunately, has produced a lot of resentment. Even though I still love Hebrew, I am having a hard time separating my negitive feelings for my class from the language itself. To tell you the truth, my negativity has become a bit of a problem. I know there is at least one person that is getting annoyed with how much I have been fixating on bad feelings toward my class. Learning Hebrew is my main reason for studying in Israel. Because of that and my general obsession with doing well in school, I have focused a lot of my energy into Ulpan. I have learned new grammar but not enough new vocabulary. Our midterm on Thursday proved that. I studied all the words she told us to memorize and I knew the grammar relatively well too. Still, none of that could help me when I could not understand the meaning of the sentences I was reading. It was impossible to fill in the blank with the vocabulary words or prepositions I had studied, when I could not read the sentences. That is not something I really can study. I think the best thing I can do is to stop taking my class so seriously. Trying my best is all that I can expect of myself. Letting it effect my mood prevents me from completing my goal to speak more Hebrew. So for this upcoming week my new goal is to get out more. To speak more. To get on it.


Although I have not been speaking as much as I should, I have been listening to more Hebrew. When I am with roommates they switch between Hebrew and English. Surprisingly, I often understand what they say in Hebrew but I cannot respond quickly. I believe that the more I listen to them the easier it will be for me to speak like them. Right now when I speak Hebrew they cannot easily understand me. I have no doubt that if I keep listening and starting trying harder I will be able to communicate better. It is also notable and promising that I spoke the most Hebrew to them so far just last night. We went to a club together and stayed out until four in the morning. It was awesome to spend time in Haifa with Israelis.

I am having a lot less friend-making anxiety this week. My roommates are very nice, funny, generous, and energetic. They are very different from my international friends here and my American friends at home. It took a while to get used to how blunt they are and how much they argue. Now I see past those cultural differences and can see what great people they are. I like to spend time with them because they speak Hebrew but I also because I really enjoy their company. This week I have been in my apartment enjoying time with my roommates a majority of the time I am not in class. I have made some American friends as well. I am not super close with any of them but I am close enough that I know I could find somebody to go places with and to spend time with if I am lonely. In general, people on my program are friendly.

As Shabbat approaches, I am feeling some anxiety about getting my Ulpan midterm back and about my backpacking trip that is beginning in two weeks. There is not anything I can do about the midterm except remind myself that the grade does not really matter and that what is important is that I am learning. The trip, however, is something I can control better. I need to keep reading my travel book and make some decisions. Soon I hope to be able to post a tentative itinerary here.

As you can probably tell, I feel much better this week. That became very obvious to me when I went through my last post to finally edit it. After reading this post, I hope you see the progress I have made. Thank you to everybody who offered words of support either here, on Facebook, or on Skype. It really helped me to remain hopeful going into this past week. It was that hope that made my progress possible.